Say what?!
by Daiijouji-Tomoyo-chan
Summary: something odd is happening to the Teachers at Hogwarts making them WEIRDER than they usually are!


Harry Potter Fanfic  
  
a/n: Hello this is my 1st harry potter fanfic.........i do hope i do alright.......what the heck am i saying? Of course i'll do alright, as long as this story doesn't suck snape's ugly old weathery butt! 0_0 nobody would want to do that? or would they? hum........anyways enjoy! r&r  
  
"Say what?!"  
  
  
it was a calm morning at Hogwarts. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley, were heading towards their first class of the day..........potions. Harry, ron and hermione dreaded potions class because the potions master, Severus Snape, was always trying to find a way to take off points from their house, Gryffindor. Snape is head of Slytherin house.......and mostly the slytherins enjoyed whenever a gryffindor lost points.......it was like their favorite things to see. especially if it had anything to do with Harry Potter. harry's enemy, Draco Malfoy (who is in slytherin) loved it when harry and his friends got into any sort of trouble...as they entered potions, harry, hermione and ron sat in their usual seats and watched as the git called Snape enter the classroom. "Good Morning class......." he said .......cheery. everybody looked puzzled, even the slytherins...... "Today, we don't need our books......" "Oh great!" said ron "He's probally is going to use us instead!" "Infact, today is going to be diffrent......you can all fool around if you'd like! go on RUN A MUCK!" and so it was made. every person, except harry, ron and hermione, including the slytherins all stared at Snape with their mouths open. "Say what?!" said malfoy. "I am just.........happy today......i never FELT happy before......" snape started jumping up and down and went to join some Gryffindors destroying the glasses and jars. "Has snape lost his mind?" asked harry to hermione and ron. ron just laid back on his chair, with his foot rested on it and said "Let the old git do whatever he wishes, as long as there is no class, i am as happy as a clam" hermione gave ron the 'dont you ever care about your education' look, which she mostly did from time-to-time. "I'm going to go talk to snape" said malfoy to the other slytherins. "Those Gryffindors probally did some spell on him" malfoy got up from his chair and walked towards snape, who was now, wearing a pink feathery hat and gloss. "Aah! malfoy! come join us! we're just about to-----" "Repairo!" said malfoy as he pointed his wand at snape. it didn't have any effect, snape was still acting all giddy and happy. "Oh come ON Malfoy! dance around!!!!!!!!!! CAUSE WE ARE HAPPY!" this scared ron so much, he fell off his chair. "Are you alright ron?" asked harry. "Yeah, never been better" said ron. ron stood up and sat back on his chair. snape walked towards them and smiled.......which made hermione gasp, and ron fall of his chair again. "Come JOIN US!!!!!!! " he glanced at potter "How about you potter? WANNA GET YOUR NAILS DONE? EH? HOW ABOUT YOU MISS GRANGER?" "My goodness professor, did you.........eat too many Honeydukes chocolates or something? " "WHY NO MISS GRANGER!!!!!! I AM PERFECTLY FINE!!! LET'S ALL DO THE MACARENA!" snape started doing the macarena, and so did the other Gryffindors. "HEY MACARENA!" said snape. "AAIH!" said the other gryffindors. then, the bell suddenly rang. "FINALLY!" screamed ron. the slytherins ran as fast as they could from the classroom. harry , ron and hermione did the same.............once they made it outside the classroom, they started speaking about the oddness of snape, even though he already seemed odd to them from the start "What did snape sniff this morning?" remarked ron. "Must have been floo powder" said harry, as they started going up for divination. "I'll see you guys later" said hermione, and she was off towards Arithemcy. once Harry and ron made it upstairs in the tower, the odd perfumy smell came through their nostrils...... "Imagine if Trelawney starts acting NORMAL!" said ron as they sat down. "What a dream come true that would be, then she could maybe stop predicting my deaths..........." an old scrawny woman, with big thick glasses, and lots and lots of beads appeared sitting on a chair. "Hello my fellow wizards and witches...today we will study grims..." she looked at potter. "Here we go........" sighed harry. "Now, everyone, grab your quills and write down these notes..." and so they did, they wrote down notes on the grim, how it looked like , when and where to expect it. when they finally finished trelawney stood up "I have been seeing into my crystal ball...........it says, someone will die very very soon" "my the old git hasn't stopped hasn't she?" joked ron, which made harry laugh. "And that person is............" she glanced around the room. "Lavender Brown" lavender screamed and fainted. "SAY WHAT?!" said harry. "You wont die potter, you will live on for a very, very long time..." "Did you accidently sniffed too much of your perfume professor Trelawney?" asked seamus. "Well..........no..the crystal ball just said lavender brown will die very soon.........." harry was...........shocked. this was the first time trelawney did not predict Harry's death..... when they finished Divination, harry and ron walked down towards the great hall, that's where they met Hermione, with her arms crossed. "What's up?" asked ron, who could tell that Hermione was upset. "Professor Victor, ugh he...." "Yeah?" asked harry, who was just as curious as ron to find out what happened that made Hermione upset. "He...didn't teach a class..all he told us to do was.....DRAW!" "SAY WHAT?!" said seamus, who came into the conversation. "Yep...he didn't teach ANYTHING he just said to DRAW" "And that's a bad thing?" asked ron. "of course! dont you CARE about your education?" "You know you just could've gave me the look you always do...instead of saying it" "Whatever...how was divination Harry?" "Odd, trelawney said that LAVENDER would die soon............she didn't say 'Harry potter will die a painful death...' nope she didn't.." " so i was wrong about her the whole time...that woman is a psychic" Said hermione. once They reached the Gryffindor table, they all sat down and started eating their mashed potatoes, and rice with Pumkin Juice in their goblets. Dumbledore stood up and everybody kept quiet. "My dear friends...and staff" everybody turned towards them and saw snape, still in his straw hat smiling. Trelawney, wearing a turban on her head and a shirt that said 'i am with stupid' with an arrow turning towards snape, which was totally true everytime, all the time. Mcgonagall, holding DUmbledore's arm. sprout with her hair all down and sleeky with a red dress, binns, without a tie or a shirt, just with pants...and dumbledore wore a hawaiian shirt, with brown shorts, sunglasses, and no hat. of course, sandals. "I just liked to say a few words... KOWA BUNGA DUDE!" and dumbledore sat right back down and started eating like a pig..........nobody took their eyes off of The professors....."i can't believe what dumbledore's wearing......" recalled a ravenclaw girl. "Look at snape!" said Cho chang, another ravenclaw girl, who harry HAD crush on last year............but he doesn't even bother anymore.........."reckon its he-who-must-not-be-named?" Asked hermione. "You mean Voldermort?" said harry outloud. everyone, including the staff and even dumbledore yelled out   
"DONT SAY HIS NAME!" "SAY WHAT?! even dumbledore yelled along with the rest! and so did the slytherins!" said ron. "This is SWEET! i can scare those gits, in slytherin by saying 'voldermort' 50 times a day!" said ron again. "Somethings not quite right...." said harry. "Everyone is acting..........strange" "But snape and trelawney are ALWAYS strange......." "Trelawney is acting NORMAL today..." "Except snape.........he's acting WAY TOO STRANGE!" said ron. "We gotta find out whose doing this..." said hermione. "No, let us enjoy their insanity" said ron. "Ron, we have got to stop these unnormality ! or else.........there goes hogwarts! would you want that?" "as long as malfoy goes insane im happy...........ah! Malfoy in a skirt...how juicy! " "Hermione's got a point, ron. we have got to stop the person who is up to this......." "Ah, alright! you owe me!" he said to hermione and harry.  
  
a/n: What or who is up to this? is it dobby? Voldermort? (and if so........he's done a pretty good job for an evil ugly wizard dude) Fred and George? (most likely) FInd out next time!! 


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